By Kurtis Adigba NYSC, is a service to country. It…
By Eruobodo Lanre Oyenuga
Eruobodo is not a psychologist! Neither are very many people that predict/read the behaviour of others, very accurately.
However, I’ve noticed common behavioural patterns in humans, who suffer certain lacks growing up, called Compensation.
For the sake of this discuss, Compensation is the habit of making up for what we believe we lacked (or were deprived of), growing up.
Compensation is usually an involuntarily reaction. It has little to do with social status or educational attainment.
The urge of a “shoeless” President to acquire as many “shoes”, as he could, when he turned President, is often proportional to the urge of the “new-money” guy to bed as many women, as he could. Women he was deprived growing up, due to poverty, now that he has arrived.
When you watch your friends load up on; clothes and accessories, cars and gadgets, one material acquisition after the other, chasing skirts like dogs on heat, NOTE, they are mostly compensating!
Africa seems to have the largest concentration/population of human Compensators in the world!
Here, our elite and the rich, feel they lacked the white-man’s privileges growing up.
So what do they do on the attainment of social/material relevance? They feast on those things they believe that they lacked, as if they are going out of season.
We act more western than the white man! While they go about in ordinary clothes, we aspire for the obnoxiously priced designer’s brands.
We build huge homes. We buy big cars. Even in the sweltering heat of our Africa, we wear suits and ties!
With this understanding of why people act as they do, I’ve come to empathize with many, rather than get angry at them. The sad truth is, many are trying to fill up the “emptiness” within them!
Your friend may not really like women? He’s compensating for those young ladies he so discretely desired, but was deprived growing up, as he lacked capacities to access. Now, he can have them in dozens!