How Recession Made My House Rat Eat Fresh Pepper and Cockroach

How Recession Made My House Rat Eat Fresh Pepper and Cockroach

By Emmanuel Chiedu

In the course of reading this piece, please feel free to feel sorry for me or you can as well just laugh thinking it is one very funny joke.

About two months ago, at around 11pm, I walked into my kitchen stealthily after hearing persistence scratching noise from my room. On tracing the sound, I saw a small rat inside my basket of fresh pepper biting away the little fruit like it was some nicely smoked fish.

I was shocked, I could not move. I wanted to make sure of it, so I tried to come closer pointing my touch, but the rat ran off immediately the light got brighter and closer.

Ever since that fateful or fearful night, I have tried to make sense of a rat eating fresh pepper, but I discovered that the real problem wasn’t just the rat. It was also me, and all Nigerians.

Things have become so bad that I can no longer afford waste. When I cook, I try as much as possible to avoid losing little grains of rice or beans, or any other food I may cook.

Until recently, I had often argued that there was no recession. Don’t blame me; this is because ever since I was born, Nigeria has been in one kind of economic hardship or another.

Nigerians have always known hard times, that’s why the legendary Afro-beat legend, Fela Kuti described us as ‘suffering and smiling’. The truth is we have a way of always adapting to tough conditions, and when it seems like we’re about getting used to these conditions; our leaders somehow successfully give us a sterner test.

A friend of mine, Adoga Emmanuel who’s based in Finland, told me that every time Nigerians elect new leaders, things become worse than before. And this trend seems to have continued in this current dispensation.

Just three days ago, I walked into my bathroom and saw a rat chowing on a dead cockroach. I could not believe it. It’s no joke. The roach had died from the insecticide I sprayed the previous night. I was furious. Then I remembered that I no longer kept fresh pepper (or anything rat can pinch) in the kitchen. I felt pity for the poor rat living in the house of a poor Nigerian bachelor.

I was beginning to forget the two weird incidents until I heard the Minister of Agriculture, Audu Ogbeh say there was no hunger in the land. To make it worse, two ministers, Senator Chris Ngige and Dr. Ogbonnaya Onu claimed that Buhari has already fulfilled his election campaign promise to Nigerians… What nonsense!!!

I could understand if they say the mess they meet on ground was enormous, but telling Nigerians that they are fools is totally unacceptable. The above mentioned ministers MUST as a matter of urgency apologize to the general public for trying to play on our intelligence.

Nigerians can only be patient for so long. After all even the most harmless of goats can attack when repeatedly pushed to the wall.

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